Memory: Curse and Blessing
by NeverEndingNonsense
Summary: You can close your eyes to reality, but not to memories. :COMPLETE: Song fic, mighty depressing, but we all enjoy some depression occasionally


Memory: Curse and Blessing

**A/N**: w00t my third fic! I'm so excited! Whee:dances around: I would like to thank my reviewers and readers of my previous fics. Love to you. And yea. This is a romantic tragedy :hands out tissues: it makes me sad too, but I do so enjoy depressing things. I know I'm totally crazy. :wink: enjoy!

**Disclaimer: **…damn you. :steals Eoin Colfer's brain and puts it in a jar: now I own Colfer's brain so by default I own Arty…:evil laughter amidst sirens: what? It's illegal to steal someone's brain? Go figure. :gives it back and does 4-6 years for cerebral theft:

He Walked Away…

Seems like just yesterday, you were a part of me 

I used to stand so tall; I used to be so strong 

Your arms around me tight, everything it felt so right 

Unbreakable, like nothing could go wrong 

Now I can't breathe, no I can't sleep

I'm barely hanging on 

Holly lay awake, staring up at the stars through the branches of the tall, strong oak tree. She sighed and fiddled with the grass around her head, occasionally yanking an innocent blade from its home in the dirt and discarding it to the side without a second thought. The stars winked at her, a few threatening to fade before her eyes. 'They're taunting me…' she thought with more sadness then anger. Holly bit her lip and turned onto her side, her fingers finding particular interest in a small flower as she let her mind wander again.

_Something whizzed over Holly's head, something that glinted in the starlight. Holly had enough on-the-job experience to realize that she was under fire, and immediately curled her elfin frame into a ball, minimizing the target._

_ She drew her pistol, rolling toward the shelter of the tree trunk. Her brain scrambled for possibilities. Who could be shooting at her and why? Something was waiting beside the tree. _

_Something roughly the size of a mountain, but considerably more mobile._

_"Nice peashooter," grinned the figure, smothering Holly's gun hand in a turnip-sized fist. _

_Holly managed to extricate her fingers a nanosecond before they snapped like brittle spaghetti. _

_"I don't suppose you would consider peaceful surrender?" said a cold voice behind her. _

_Holly turned, elbows raised for combat._

_"No," sighed the boy melodramatically. "I suppose not." _

_Holly put on her best brave face._

_"Stay back, human. You don't know what you're dealing with."_

_The boy laughed. "I believe, fairy, that you are the one unfamiliar with the facts."_

Here I am, once again 

I'm torn into pieces, can't deny it, can't pretend 

Just thought you were the one 

Broken up, deep inside 

But you won't get to see the tears I cry 

Behind these hazel eyes 

A nightingale let a note of its hauntingly sad song drift over the Irish countryside startling Holly from her thoughts. She sat up and leaned against the tall oak. 'This is the spot…the exact spot where I first looked up into those cold eyes…those beautiful sapphire eyes.' She shook a crystal tear away before it could make a run down her cheek and slammed her fist half-heartedly into the tree. Her eyes traveled upwards landing on the full moon, the silver light reflected in her hazel orbs. 'It's not nearly as beautiful.' Her mind drifted from her grasp again as she stared longingly at the silver ball.

_Holly started. Cudgeon was calling the shots now. Not good news at all. _

_Fowl interrupted again._

_"It's not polite, you know. Ignoring your host."_

_Holly snarled. "Enough is enough."_

_She pulled back her fist, fingers curled in a tight bunch. Artemis didn't flinch. Why would he? Butler always intervened right before punches landed. But then something caught his eye, a large figure running down the stairway on the first-floor monitor. It was Butler._

_"That's right, rich boy," said Holly nastily. "You're on your own this time." _

_And before Artemis' eyes had time to widen, Holly put an extra few pounds of spring in her elbow and whacked her abductor right on the nose._

_"Oof," he said, collapsing on to his rear end._

_"Oh, yes! That felt good."_

I told you everything, opened up and let you in 

You made me feel alright, for once in my life 

Now all that's left of me is what I pretend to be 

So together, but so broken up inside 

'Cause I can't breathe, no I can't sleep

I'm barely hanging on 

Holly smirked, but the smirk was laden with sorrow. That contact…well it was a punch but it was still contact. She had hated him so much. Despised his very essence…so how did it come to pass, that she fell in love? 'Damn that mud boy.' It must have been how he changed…not who he was when she met him…who he became.

"_Oh, Holly…Eh, Captain Short."_

_Eh? Artemis couldn't believe he'd actually said eh. It wasn't even a word._

_"Yes, Mud B…Yes, Artemis?"_

"_I would like to…I mean. What I mean is…"_

_Another elbow from Butler._

"_Thank you. I owe you everything. Because of you I have my parents. And the way you flew that craft was nothing short of spectacular. And on the train…Well, I could never have done what you…"_

_A third elbow. Time to stop the babbling._

"_Sorry. Well, you get the idea."_

Here I am, once again 

I'm torn into pieces, can't deny it, can't pretend 

Just thought you were the one 

Broken up, deep inside 

But you won't get to see the tears I cry 

Behind these hazel eyes 

He turned around so quickly after that. He was still a snob, and a smart ass rich boy…but he had at least some emotion. He had actually thanked her after all, which proved something. He had respect; no longer did he see himself as the only important being on the planet. 'That must have been when it started…I didn't want him to lose that. So I gave him something to remind him…he kept it too…' Holly looked out over the rolling Irish hills her hand drifting to her neck and tugged at a chain around it.

"_You keep it, to remind you._

_"To remind me?"_

"_To remind you that deep beneath the layers of deviousness, there is a spark of decency. Perhaps you could blow on that spark occasionally."_

She tugged the chain out from under her shirt and stared at the object hanging at the end. Moonlight spilled through the hole in the middle. She closed her eyes and chewed on her lip, tears stinging her eyes again. 'Well…he kept it that time.' Holly didn't want to remember anymore, but she couldn't stop her mind from escaping her and torturing her with more painful glimpses of the past.

Swallow me, then spit me out 

For hating you, I blame myself 

Seeing you, it kills me now 

No, I don't cry on the outside anymore 

Anymore

_Artemis smiled at her, that same vampire smile that made her knees wobble and her heart skip several beats at random. _

"_I've missed you Holly." _

_She blinked from her daze, a slight spill of pink spreading over her cheeks. "I've missed you too Artemis…" she stuttered. Artemis eyed her in amusement, his eyes twinkling at her. _

_Holly caught herself, realizing she had been staring she was suddenly very self conscious and turned around to hide her new crimson face. "How did you do it Artemis, how did you get your memories back?" She was only supposed to check up on him…she wasn't supposed to let him see her but she couldn't resist. She just couldn't stand not seeing him face to face, and having him see her too. Artemis' words of explanation fell on deaf ears as Holly rummaged through her bag; to Artemis it seemed she was going for the mind wipe equipment and he stiffened his explanation only half done. _

"_Holly…what are you doing? You don't have to mind wipe me again…I won't mess with the people anymore I swear." Begging? Really what had become of him, it must be because of Holly. She always brought out the good Artemis._

"_I'm not going to mind wipe you Artemis…I brought you a present. I see you kept my last gift." She turned around, hands behind her back, her eyes locked on the exposed chain round Artemis' neck. _

"_Well yes…of course I kept it…" Artemis blushed slightly, but he looked at Holly with a bit of apprehension. 'Who's to say she isn't tricking me?' _

_Holly approached him slowly, seeing the worry etched across his brow she giggled. "Don't be so scared mud boy." She said mud boy with as much affection as she could muster and extended her hands, clutched in them was a large, rainbow colored, swirly lollipop. Artemis gawked at her, all his thoughts frozen in shock._

"_You thought I was kidding?" She smiled in a devilish manner and winked. "It just took me a while to find the right one." _

Here I am, once again 

I'm torn into pieces, can't deny it, can't pretend 

Just thought you were the one 

Broken up, deep inside 

But you won't get to see the tears I cry

Behind these hazel eyes

Holly smiled again. That had been a good day. They'd spent the day out, roaming the grounds getting caught up. Artemis had seemed happy, and she had been happy too. It was wonderful to be near him again. And even better to be near him without the threat of death just around the corner. Of course he didn't eat the lollipop, but that wasn't important, she had intended it as a joke anyway.

She and Artemis spent the next several weeks together. Butler and Juliet had been happy to have Holly staying at the mansion and Holly was happy to stay. Commander Root didn't like it, but Foaly, ever witty Foaly, thought up a reason for her staying without blowing her cover, and Root left it alone after that. It took some explanation and a lot of ass kissing on Foaly's end, but he wanted Holly to have her chance at happiness again. 'But…then…' Holly sighed as she gave in to the last flashback, figuring it would be easier to just get it over with.

"_Artemis...could I see you outside for a bit…I'd like to talk to you. Alone." Holly's eyes pleaded with Artemis as she said the word alone. Her knees were shaking making her whole frame quite unsteady and she only barely made it out to the bench in the rose garden without collapsing. Artemis sat next to her and eyed her suspiciously. _

"_What is it Holly?" His sapphire eyes bore into her, so full of question and affection. She knew it was there. She'd seen him looking at her when he thought no one was watching. She saw the affection he had for her. And she knew she had the same affection for him. It was only a matter of telling him. _

_Holly swallowed uncomfortably and squirmed in her seat, avoiding Artemis' gaze at all costs. "It's just…I…wanted to tell you…something." _

"_Well what is it?" He seemed to grow impatient at her silence that followed and asked again in a more agitated tone. "What do you want to tell me?" _

"_Iloveyou." She whispered quickly._

"_Come again?" Artemis was now very annoyed and put his hand on Holly cheek, turning her head to face him. _

"_I…I…" Holly tried to look at anything other than him but she couldn't avoid his eyes. She felt them engulf her, making her feel numb. "I…love you." _

_Artemis furrowed his brow, as if making sure he'd heard her right. Then he released her from his gentle grasp, the most horrible look in his eyes. Like a mixture of tormented love and burning hate. He lifted the chain from around his neck and set in softly in her palms, looking her straight in the eyes the whole time. _

"_We can't." Was all he said. But Holly understood what he meant…at least her mind understood, but her heart didn't. She locked her hazel eyes with his gemstone ones, biting back tears as Artemis stood, turned around, and walked away. _

Holly let the tears flow freely now, powerful sobs racking her tiny body, as she sat under the oak tree where they'd met. Memories of they're adventures and of him flashing in her mind. He'd walked away.

Here I am, once again 

I'm torn into pieces, can't deny it, can't pretend 

Just thought you were the one 

Broken up, deep inside 

But you won't get to see the tears I cry

Behind these hazel eyes 

He walked away…

…and she watched him go.

A/N: I know, so sad. I'm a sucker for romantic tragedy. Blame it on Romeo and Juliet. Thank you to all my loverly reviewers. I heart you all. I hope you enjoyed my third fic, cause I have a feeling I won't be getting another out for a while. I'm going to force myself to start work on Searching, and that'll take awhile without proper inspiration. Plus I'm going on vacation the next few weeks so yea. I love you anyway minna-san. Gomen and Aishiteru!


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